


A Heart of Ice

by Anath_Tsurugi



Series: Roses and Thorns (A Collection of Fairytales) [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Durincest, Incest, M/M, Snow Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-16 11:58:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anath_Tsurugi/pseuds/Anath_Tsurugi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last faerie in all the world takes delight in twisting everything that is good...and when her power cannot twist the love between two brothers, she decides to enchant one of them and steal him away. Kili is devastated when Fili disappears, and it's up to him to rescue his brother from the Snow Queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again, my fellow Durincest fans. Yet another fairy tale for you to add to my growing collection. This one is a two parter and was inspired by the story The Snow Queen. As you may have already guessed, there's incest in this story, as well as rape, also a little bit of blood, but I wouldn't count it as anything too horrific. Now suitably warned, I hope you enjoy...

_Once upon a time, which is all times and no times, but not the very best of times, there lived a queen of snow and ice, the very last of the faerie folk…the elves. She held power over the winter storms and her heart had long since gone cold. The Snow Queen was winter itself._

_The peoples of the land told stories of the Snow Queen, particularly in the North. There was one village of dwarves that liked to claim they had had the most sightings of the Winter Elf. It was a popular pastime in the winter to gather around the village fires and tell stories of the Snow Queen._

XxX

"You're never gonna catch me!" Kili sang as he ran around the living area, with his older brother, Fili, in hot pursuit. Both young dwarves were laughing as they ran.

"Don't bet on it, baby brother!" the nine-year-old shouted, barely missing crashing into their uncle, Thorin, as he came through the front door.

"What's this, then?" the village leader asked, a half-smile on his face as he watched the chase.

"He took my apple," Fili called over his shoulder.

"Mine now!" Kili taunted. "It's the last one!"

"Boys," their mother scolded them as she came in from the kitchen carrying a vase of roses. "If you don't figure out some way to share that, there won't be any stories tonight."

Little Kili turned to argue, but he turned too fast, twisting his ankle as he went down. All in instant, the scene changed. The laughing, teasing four-year-old was on the floor in tears and his older brother, once the annoyed, slighted party, was now on his knees beside his baby brother.

"Kili! Kili, are you all right?" Fili asked, pushing aside Kili's pant leg to inspect the swelling ankle.

"It…it hurts, Fili," he sobbed, reaching his arms out for his big brother. "It hurts real bad!"

"Don't be such a baby," Fili teased as he lifted Kili into his arms, cradling him close as he carried him to the hearth. "You'll be all right. We just need to keep that up. You'll be fine."

"Your brother's right," Dis soothed as she had a look at her youngest's injury. "Just stay off that for a little while."

"And look what you dropped," Fili continued to tease, pulling the prized apple from his tunic. Kili gave him a pout of a smile, too much in pain to try to continue the battle…only Fili didn't taunt him with the last fresh fruit. Instead, he offered it to him. For a moment, Kili looked uncertain, but when Fili smiled and held it a little closer, he finally took the apple and bit into it, smiling at his brother through the bite of fruit. But instead of eating the whole thing himself, he took that one bite and offered the apple back to Fili. Grinning conspiratorially at each other, they polished off the apple in this way, passing it off between the two of them, each taking a bite until it was gone.

"Speaking of the last of the summer, here's something you'll like, my treasure," Dis said, removing a rose from the vase she'd just set down and offering it to Kili. The dwarfling smiled as he took the rose, burying his nose in the blossoms and inhaling the scent.

"I like roses," the young dwarf declared proudly.

"And why is that, little one?'" Thorin asked as he joined the tiny family by the fire.

"They're for love…and I love my brother," he said, leaning forward to tuck the deep red bloom behind Fili's ear. "Roses remind me of _him_."

Fili felt like he ought to tease his sibling about this, but he just couldn't think of anything to say. All he could manage was to crouch there, smiling like a little idiot. What he finally said was, "I love you, too, you nasty little goblin."

Kili stuck his tongue out at him, but even so, the two brothers continued to smile at each other…like they had a secret that was just for the two of them. As if the rest of the world had simply fallen away, they reached out their hands for each other, fingers twining together as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Be happy there _is_ still such love in the world, lads," Thorin began as the prelude to a story. "There are many who have forgotten."

"Like the Snow Queen?" Fili asked, slowly tearing his gaze away from Kili. He had heard the old story before, but he didn't think Kili ever had.

"Just so, Fili…the elf witch," Thorin said, leaning back in his chair and pulling out his pipe.

"Who's the…the Snow Queen?" Kili asked, eyes widening slightly.

"They say she is the last of her kind…the very last elf. She lives up in the Farthest North, where she keeps court with the snowflakes and the winter winds. She can either give you a light snowfall for playing in…or freeze a little dwarfling who doesn't mind he gets home in time," their uncle warned. Kili shivered slightly, snuggling a little closer to Fili when he finally sat down beside him. Fili wrapped an arm around him.

"They say she has a heart made of pure ice…that she feels nothing and cares for nothing…and because she is so cold, she delights in making the world appear just as dark, cold, and twisted as she is. In fact, there are tales of a mirror in her palace…a stretch of icy glass that reflects her heart. The story goes that if you look into the mirror, all that you cherish will become twisted in your sight…just as it is in the Snow Queen's."

"I think she sounds mean," Kili insisted, clinging to Fili a little tighter.

"Now, Thorin, don't scare the boy," Dis scolded as she worked on her mending. "After all, you're forgetting some of the more important stories regarding the Winter Elf."

"Like what?" Fili asked, turning to look at his mother. He had only ever heard Thorin talk about how dangerous the Snow Queen was.

"Some say she is lonely," Dis took up the narrative. "A broken heart will do anything to soothe itself…no matter who might be hurt in the process. I can imagine the pain of such a woman…to lose _everything_ ," she said, her eyes going distant and her hands falling still on her work. Thorin watched his sister uncertainly for several moments, remembering how lost and helpless she'd been in the weeks following her husband's death five years ago.

"I still think she sounds mean," Kili's tiny voice interrupted the heavy silence. "I hope she doesn't come around _here_ ever."

"A futile hope at best," Thorin said, shaking his head. "Many have seen the Winter Elf."

"Don't worry about it, you baby," Fili teased his brother, roughly tousling his hair. "The Snow Queen's never going to bother _you_. If she comes around here, we'll just shove her in the fire," he declared, getting to his feet and striking a heroic pose. Kili laughed and clapped for him, so Fili continued the game, gaze sweeping around the room as if searching for enemies. In the middle of all the fun, though, his eyes happened to fall on the window…and see another pair of eyes looking in at him.

Fili gasped, frozen in shock. It wasn't his reflection he was seeing. The eyes were an icy blue, nothing like his own grey ones. The skin was smooth and fair, and the only trace of hair was the hint of a blonde crown of it around the edges of the image. The pale lips offered him a cold smile and he felt himself mesmerized, cold fingers wrapping around his heart like a vice.

 _Come away with me,_ an icy voice whispered in his ear. Slowly, the boy felt himself take a step forward…but then he felt a warm hand wrap around his cold one.

"Fili? Are you all right?"

Snapping out of the trance, Fili looked down to see his brother looking worriedly up at him. When he looked back to the window, the vision was gone.

"What is it?"

"I…I thought I saw…no, never mind," he finally said, shaking his head to clear it.

"Your hands are like ice," his baby brother said, starting to rub his larger hands with his tiny ones, trying to get some of the warmth back. "Come sit by me again. Warm up."

Starting to laugh, Fili did just that, banishing the troubling apparition from his mind with no small amount of difficulty. It would be many years before he thought on it again.

XxX

_The story of the Snow Queen's mirror was true. Many hours the frozen Lady spent gazing into its depths, twisting the love that was in the world in her sight. If there could be no joy in her cold heart, why should there be joy anywhere else?_

_It happened one day, though, that gazing into the mirror was not enough._

XxX

It was the same as it was everyday. The cursed glass twisted loving families into bitter enemies, best friends into rivals, and pure love to ugly hate. Everything fell apart in the end, lying in ruins. It always did…

…until the mirror's gaze fell upon two young dwarves.

They were brothers…but they also felt something they both knew they shouldn't feel. Each longed for the other with a deadly fire. They continued to behave like normal brothers, but they also danced around each other, both afraid to walk through the fire. In their own eyes, they were already ugly…already disgusting…but there was still something so pure and powerful in their caring for each other…and try as it might, the mirror could not twist the image of their love. It shone bright and strong from their hearts, shone until the elf witch could bear it no more and smashed a fist into the glass, shattering the smiling face of the older brother.

The one they called the Snow Queen had long since grown numb to physical pain. She hardly noticed the blood trickling down her hand. The only thing she felt now was anger…anger and a dull sort of hatred that these dwarves would not bend to her will. What strength did these mere _children_ possess that she did not? What was mightier than her will?

Curious to find out, the Snow Queen plucked two tiny shards of the broken mirror from the ground. Then, using her power, she set the enchanted shards adrift on the wind.

"Find them," she commanded. "Make their hearts cold as ice. _Silence_ their love."

XxX

"Kili! I think I see a cave!" Fili shouted over the gale force wind of the blizzard, even though he was practically dragging Kili and they were next to each other he had to scream for his voice to carry at all.

Kili's only response was a pained groan. Even his shivering had stilled within the last few minutes. Fili knew that was a bad sign. He had to get Kili warmed up as soon as possible.

The storm had come upon them much sooner than expected. The two brothers had been out checking their trapping line during a break in the winter storms. Balin had predicted the heavy snows would stay away for at least a week, so they'd planned to make the two-day trip around the line to see if they'd caught any small game. There was a small cottage in the woods that most of the hunters and trappers used during their journeys into the wild, and it was this cottage that they'd been making their way for when the snow started up again suddenly, and before long, it had become a fierce winter storm. They hadn't yet entered the woods from the lowlands, so they'd quickly become lost in the whiteout. Then Kili's hand had slipped from Fili's and all he'd heard was the sound of him shouting.

Kili had missed his footing in the snow and fallen into a small ravine. Fili had barely managed to find him again and didn't dare to look for the pack that had become dislodged during his fall, desperately as they needed it. The only thing to be done was to keep moving. Kili hadn't been badly injured in the fall, just a bump to the head. No bleeding to speak of, but he was still dazed and needed his brother's help to go on. When they'd reached the shelter of a rock face and Fili had spotted what looked to be a small cave, he had been relieved beyond words. So now, with only one pack of supplies between them, the two dwarves staggered into the cave, ears still roaring from the howl of the wind outside.

Immediately, Fili got to work caring for his brother. Once he'd made sure the small cave was empty, he laid out his bedroll, laying Kili down on it and beginning to strip him of his clothing. That done, he pulled the two fur blankets from the oilskin in his pack, still blessedly dry after the day's events. Spreading these snugly over his brother's body, he then laid Kili's coat and his own overtop of them, adding to the layers of warmth. Shivering without his own protection from the cold, Fili kept watch for what seemed like a long time to him, and nothing seemed to change. Kili clearly didn't even have the energy to shiver anymore, to warm himself without help. Fili had a small amount of wood in his pack for emergencies, but the oilskin covering for that had somehow torn, exposing the kindling to the cold and the wet. It wouldn't do him any good for a fire until it had dried. What more could he do to get his baby brother warm again?

There was really only one solution.

Fili found himself shivering as he stripped out of his own snow-caked clothing, not just from cold…but from fear. He couldn't believe he was even _thinking_ about this in their current predicament…but the thought of his own naked flesh…pressed against Kili's…both excited and terrified him. Even though this was absolutely necessary…he couldn't help the feelings that began to churn in his stomach as he crawled under the blankets with his brother.

At first, his own fear was chased away by his worry for Kili. His brother just lay in his arms…so still…so cold…would he ever wake up again?

"Kili…please…come back to me," he pleaded, breathing his warm breath against his brother's chilled flesh…and finally, after what felt like an eternity to the older brother, Kili began to shiver again, his body warming itself as the pallor of death slowly began to retreat from his skin.

After a time, Kili began to shudder himself awake. When his eyes finally opened, he whispered, "Fili?"

Letting loose a sigh of relief, Fili hugged his brother tighter.

"You're all right. You're safe. Everything's going to be fine," he murmured soothingly to him, unthinkingly running his fingers through his hair.

For a long while, the two brothers just lay in each other's arms, gazing into each other's eyes. Then Kili inhaled sharply as a little more of his sense began to return to him.

"We're both…naked under these blankets…aren't we."

"I'm sorry," Fili whispered, feeling the guilt curl in his stomach. "It was the only way I could save your life."

"No! I…it's not…I didn't mean…I just…I…I don't know," Kili finally gave up trying to explain, looking away from his brother in shame. Nearly sick with the guilt boiling in his gut, Fili continued to stroke Kili's hair, very much aware of it now.

"You don't know…how close you were to gone. You almost…you might have…I almost _lost_ you," he said, unable to bring himself to say that Kili had almost died.

"But you didn't," Kili said, curling up closer against his brother…even though he was just as afraid as Fili was…afraid of what might happen if their skin continued to touch…afraid of what he might do.

Fili nuzzled his face down into Kili's hair, painfully aware of the press of his little brother's face against his neck. Then, before he could stop himself, almost before he was even aware of it…he was kissing Kili's temple. He felt Kili stiffen in his arms, but he just couldn't help himself…though he nearly froze himself when the next sensation he became aware of was the press of Kili's lips against his neck.

They didn't question it. Each feeding off of the other, they pressed desperate, hungry kisses to each other's faces, unleashing years of unspent, unspoken passion in a few breathless moments. Almost immediately, the two were hard against each other, their desire made clear. They could no longer hide from each other what they wanted…and it was this revelation that caused Fili to snap out of his heated haze and pull away from his brother…his _brother!_ Kili whined in protest, grabbing onto his hands in order to keep him from retreating.

"Wait… _please_ …don't stop."

"We can't…be doing this," Fili said, unable to meet Kili's gaze. "I… _will not_ …take advantage of you like this."

"Fili," the younger said softly, drawing his hands up and beginning to kiss them, "how can you take advantage of me…if I _want_ it? I want it…just as much as you do."

Fili tried to pull away one last time, but the attempt was half-hearted at best.

"Please…" Kili tried again. "I…I'm…I'm sill cold."

It took no more than that. Kili needed him…and he _had_ to help. So he gave into the years of wanting…of heartache…under the pretense that Kili _needed_ this…that his body _needed_ the warmth Fili could provide. That would be his excuse if anyone ever found out about this…that Kili had needed his warmth…not that he was disgusting and diseased and wanted to make love to his own baby brother.

The two moved silently together beneath the layers of blankets and coats, neither daring to speak, lest this precious, horrifying moment shatter around them. They rocked against each other, Fili thrusting between Kili's legs and Kili up against his belly, the world almost seeming to spin around them as they painted each other with delicious, sinful drops of moisture. Then, when Fili finally came between his brother's slick thighs and Kili splashed against his stomach, the world ceased its spinning and Kili was no longer cold.

As they lay together afterwards, holding each other close, Fili wept quietly, burying his face in his little brother's hair.

"What have I done to you?" he whispered plaintively, his fingers curling desperately in Kili's now damp hair. He had done what he'd promised himself he would _never_ do. He had destroyed both his own life…and his beloved brother's. "I've _ruined_ you…I've broken everything!" he sobbed.

"You did nothing…I myself did not do, Brother," Kili soothed him. "I was willing…wanting…so _desperately_ wanting. If…if we are truly ruined…then we will be ruined together. I love you, Fili…more than I have any right to. I have done this to you just as surely as you have done it to me. I will have no one but you…my love," he said softly, cradling his older brother as close as he possibly could.

"But _I_ am the older. I should have resisted…should have been stronger…I should have taken care of _you_ …not myself."

"Fili…do you love me?"

"What? Of- of course I-"

"Not as a brother, you idiot. I'm asking you…if you love me as I love you. In this way I cannot… _must_ not…but still do, just the same."

"I…I do," Fili whispered, gently raising Kili's face so he could kiss the corner of his mouth…hesitant…self-loathing…but still so tender…so loving and needing. "I love you, Kili. I have from the moment you first spoke my name…the moment you first smiled at me."

Fili felt Kili's lips shift into a smile against his before the younger dwarf covered his mouth with his own. They spent several more minutes like that, just kissing and holding each other, before Kili pulled back, a look of utter conviction sparking in his dark eyes as he reached a hand up to tug at one of the braids that adorned his brother's face.

"No one else can ever know about this."

"No."

"If they find out…they will take you away from me."

"They will."

"I will not allow that. I cannot be without you…not ever."

"Nor I you," Fili said softly, drawing Kili's head back down to rest against his chest…near his heartbeat.

"They won't…find out…not ever," Kili whispered, snuggling close as he began to drift back to sleep once more. Fili held him close, whispering soothing nothings to him until he had fallen asleep. Once the older dwarf was certain of this, he carefully disentangled himself from his brother and climbed out of their warm, safe nest. He barely felt the cold as he sat on top of the blankets.

Part of him wished they could stay like this forever, tucked safely away from the rest of the world in their own warm little cave. They could do it…live on their own…live in the woods with no ties to anyone else. Here, they were safe. They would be free to love each other without complication. Outside was dangerous…outside was cold, harsh, and cruel. The people who cared for them, the friends they had known all their lives…they would never accept them like this. He and Kili would be punished if anyone ever found out…and worse than any punishment…would be the inevitable separation. One of them would be sent into exile…most likely him…and no pain, no punishment, could possibly be worse than being forced to live apart from his brother…the very light of his soul. Why couldn't they? What was stopping them from running away together…going somewhere far away where nobody knew they had been born as brothers?

Sadly, just as Fili was seriously considering this option, everything changed. He looked out from the mouth of the cave…and could have almost sworn he saw something twinkling out in the blizzard…something _not_ snowflakes. The next moment, the two twinkling pinpoints had flown into their little sanctuary, the first piercing the blond dwarf through the heart.

As pain and cold washed over him, Fili caught sight of the second sliver moving toward his brother. Without thinking, he reached out and plucked the evil thing from the air. Whatever this thing was, he would not allow it to touch Kili.

When he opened his hand to have a look at the sliver of glass, though, it quickly shot up, entering through his eye. Thus Fili took the shard that had been meant for his brother's heart.

As Fili felt the glass splinters twisting inside of him, he first felt his heart growing cold…a horrifying, stabbing pain that was unlike anything he'd ever felt in his life. As he writhed on the cave floor, screaming in pain, his vision also started to grow darker, twisting everything in sight.

Kili woke almost immediately, horrified to see his brother in such agony. Quickly, he moved to his side, seizing him in his arms.

"Fili! Fili, what is it? Are you hurt? What's wrong?! _Fili!_ "

Fili wanted to reassure his brother, but he couldn't get the words out through the pain. When the Snow Queen's spell had finally had its way with him, he gave one last cry and fell still in Kili's arms.

"Fili? _Fili!_ " Kili cried out desperately.

At first, Fili couldn't understand what had happened to him. He felt…changed: colder, harder…darker…and the sound of his brother's voice was like sweet poison in his ears…the press of his skin like fire against the ice of his own flesh. The rest of the world had grown darker and uglier…but by comparison, Kili had grown that much more beautiful. He had become so lovely, so pure that it pained Fili to look upon him. The beauty of his love only caused Fili to see how ugly he himself was…how dark and twisted he had become. If he allowed Kili to touch him, he would surely taint that purity with his darkness.

"Don't touch me!" he snarled, shoving Kili away from him and getting quickly to his feet. "What do you think you're doing? Touching _me?_ "

"Fili?"

"Come on," he started, grabbing Kili's clothes and throwing them at him before beginning to pull his own on. "We're going back."

"Going…going _back?_ " Kili repeated incredulously. "That storm hasn't let up any. We'll only get lost again."

Fili sneered at him as he got dressed. "Trust me. I'll get us home. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be stuck here with _you!_ "

The first thing Kili felt at these words was a stab of pain to his heart. Had Fili already forgotten the words they had so lately spoken to each other? Before his insecurities could plague him any further, though, he really looked into Fili's eyes…and saw that the soft grey he had always loved in his brother's eyes had gone completely black…and his skin had gone somewhat paler.

"Fili, what…what's wrong?" he asked, getting back to his knees from where Fili had shoved him down. "Just tell me what's _wrong!_ "

"Wrong? _You're_ wrong, Kili. How did you ever think this could be right? I can't stand the sight of you. If you aren't dressed in five minutes, I'm going without you. And don't think I wouldn't be happy to leave you out here."

Fili's heart stung as the words left his mouth, but his mind wouldn't allow his own self-hatred to express itself any other way. Perhaps this venom, this vitriol, was the only way to drive Kili away from him…the only way to keep him safe?

Kili wanted to plead with Fili…wanted to beg for forgiveness…to know what had caused this sudden hatred. Had what they'd done…really been the cause of this? Had he lost his brother forever with his selfish actions? Just when he thought he might break down completely, lay down on the cold ground and let Fili leave him here…leave him alone to die in the cold…he remembered the blackness of his beloved's eyes…how cold his skin had been against his. Something was wrong with his brother and it wasn't him. Something else had caused this. It wasn't Fili being so cruel and hurtful to him. Something was hurting Fili…and he needed to find out what, but to do that, he would have to stay alive. Therefore he was dressed and ready to move out in the allotted time Fili had given him. Taking him by the hand, Fili led the way out into the storm.

To Kili's worry, he could feel the coldness of his brother's hand even through their gloves. Several times, Fili seemed like he wanted to tug his hand free of his, but Kili wouldn't let go of him. Even more worrisome was the fact that the blinding flurry of snow seemed to part before Fili…as if it wouldn't dare hinder him…like he was part of it. Fili had become almost like a force of nature himself…and before long, the two brothers were pounding on their mother's door.

XxX

_In the ensuing months, the older brother's behavior only grew colder. He was nothing but cruel to his brother and absolutely no one could understand the change in his personality. He suffered with every hurt he inflicted on the one he loved above all others, but no one else could have possibly known that._

_The younger brother couldn't have known this either…and as the months passed, winter giving way to spring, and to summer and fall, his confidence that he could help his love diminished. The bright, happy dwarf that all the villagers so adored began to retreat more and more into himself, convinced every new day that_ _**he** _ _had done this to his brother…that his actions in the cave that night had destroyed something between them…had killed something vital inside of his brother. If so, then this was surely his just punishment…to watch his brother's good heart wither and blacken…and to turn that darkness on him._

_So the younger dwarf suffered in silence, accepting every cruelty his brother saw fit to inflict on him, praying he could somehow atone for what his sinful desires had done to the only person he truly loved._

_Until one day…_

XxX

"You call that firewood?" Fili demanded as he kicked over the stack of wood Kili had just set down by the back door. "It won't last two hours. Go get some more!"

Kili sighed as he looked up at Fili. "Brother, can we please not do this now? It's getting late."

"What? Afraid of the dark?" Fili taunted him, moving toward him and shoving him up against the wall. Using one hand, he pinned his brother's wrists over his head. "You know what you _should_ be afraid of…don't you?" he hissed in Kili's ear.

"Yes," Kili whispered, unable to stop himself from shuddering when Fili ran his tongue along the shell of his ear.

"Heheh, you want it _bad_ , don't you. You really are a shameless little _slut_ ," he snarled, delivering a harsh blow to his stomach, sneering as he allowed him to drop to the ground, coughing violently.

"Yes," Kili answered when he was able to speak again. "I'm shameless…sinful and disgusting. _I_ did this to you…my selfishness…my _weakness_."

"Do you think so?" Fili mocked, lifting Kili up by his collar. "Is that what you think?"

"I know it," Kili choked out, reaching forward to touch his brother's golden hair. "This isn't _you_ , Fili. If anything's wrong with you…it's _me_ …what I did to you…"

Fili chuckled quietly at this. "You _are_ pretty disgusting, baby brother. The sight of you burns my eyes. I can hardly stand to look at you…and the touch of your skin is like poison. Your mere presence _sickens_ me. Perhaps you _can_ handle being yelled at…hit and kicked…but you really ought to run now, before I do something more… _permanent_ to you," he warned, his grip on the collar loosening slightly.

 _For the love of Mahal, Kili,_ _**run!** _ _I_ **_beg_ ** _you! Run away! Something_ **_awful_ ** _is about to happen._ **_Run!_ **

But Kili would not. He allowed his body to go limp in Fili's grip as fresh tears spilled down his face. "If you want to kill me, just kill me. _I_ did this to you. It's _my_ fault your heart has turned black, my love. Punish me."

"I'm going to," Fili hissed, spitting in his face before turning him around and shoving him back against the wall. He twisted his arms up behind him so he couldn't move. Then he yanked his trousers down around his knees.

"What are you doing?" he asked, feeling real fear in his gut for the first time. This wasn't what he had expected.

"Giving you what you want…your _punishment!_ " he growled as he shoved two fingers into his body.

" _Fili!_ " Kili cried out in pain, unable to keep back the volume as his body tore around the intrusion. "Please…please don't do this. They'll hear…they'll _see!_ " If anyone caught them like this…saw Fili doing this to him…

"That's the idea, baby brother," Fili said, a strange hint of glee in his voice as he thrust into his brother's tight entrance again and again.

As it had been these last months, Fili's touch was cold…so cold it burned, and it only made the pain of his penetration worse. Kili struggled to get free, but Fili's grip was as unyielding as stone. He fought not to cry out, but there was nothing he could do when his brother finally took him. There was only pain…pain, shock, horror, and screaming.

When Kili finally emerged from the darkness of his agony, it was to the feeling of a sticky fluid dribbling from inside him, down his thighs. When he opened his eyes and looked down, he could see blood and semen dripping down onto the frost-covered ground. His body ached terribly, but that ache was nothing compared to the fear he felt when he realized what he'd just heard.

"Fili…what have you done?"

Even though it felt like lead, Kili slowly lifted his head in the direction of his uncle's voice. There he stood, having just come around the back of the house with Balin and Dwalin, all three looking horrified at the sight of Fili buried deep inside his brother…and Kili…violated and bleeding onto the ground. Slowly, he turned to look back at his brother, who only leered at him as he casually pulled himself out.

"Run…" Kili whimpered, beginning to tremble in Fili's unbearably cold embrace. "Just run…you've got to get away from here."

Fili did just that, leaving Kili to slump bonelessly to the ground as he bolted. Dwalin gave chase, but Balin and Thorin came to Kili, kneeling on either side of his broken body.

"Oh, Kili…Kili…what's he done to you?" Thorin whispered helplessly as he looked over his youngest sister-son's injuries.

"No," Kili barely managed to get out. "You're _wrong_. Fili didn't…force me. I _wanted_ this. _I'm_ the one who's bad," he insisted before passing out cold.

XxX

Fili couldn't be certain how he outran Dwalin, but he didn't question what was. The sheath of ice around his heart and mind kept him from outwardly expressing emotion, but inside he was screaming…a wordless cry of shock, anguish, and self-hatred. He had done the unthinkable to Kili…and then left him to the hatred of the village. There could be no forgiveness for him ever. Even if redemption were somehow possible in the eyes of others…he knew he could never forgive _himself_ for what he had done.

_Merciful Mahal, why do you not strike me dead for this unforgivable deed? By all that's holy, why do I still live?_

Fili ran until he reached the river, which was only just beginning to freeze over. At the frosty bank, he crashed to his knees, breathing hard. He didn't know what at first, but something kept him from walking into the water and drowning. That was the moment he heard the voice calling to him again…the icy voice from so long ago.

"Come away with me," she said as he looked up at her, holding out a hand to him. For a long while, he just stared at her. The Snow Queen and the young dwarf stared at each other until night fell and snow began to fall…the first snow of winter. For the first time in a long while, Fili began to feel cold.

"It's you," he said, remaining on his knees. "And you… _you_ did this," he continued, clutching at his heart with a single frozen hand. "Why?"

"Because I couldn't bear to behold the love you have for your brother any longer. No one loves so truly as that. They may pretend to it, but living beings are very fickle creatures in the end. I sought to test the limits of your bond…and it seems we have finally happened upon the breaking point tonight. It took this to make your brother's heart grow cold…to finally kill the love he bore for you. Surely you must realize it is dead."

"Yes…I know," he said. Even though he was breaking inside, his face remained cold and implacable. "Tell me…if I go away with you…will his pain stop? Will he know peace if I'm not here anymore?"

"Even after all this…after everything you've done…after your heart and soul have frozen over…you _still_ care for him?" the snow fairy asked incredulously.

"There is no way to not. If there was, I would have done something a long time before I could hurt him like this."

"Tell me what you see," the queen said softly as she helped him to his feet.

"All the world is dark," he began. "The stars are veiled and the moon is twisted. No light can pierce the ice in my chest. I see…how hideous a thing I am…and by that…Kili is that much more fair…that much brighter. It pains me to look on the beauty of him…and his warmth burns like fire against the ice I am becoming. It hurts me to be with him. Each time I look upon him, I know…I know this ice will destroy him…that my darkness will poison his light and make him just as ugly as I am. I cannot bear that…and yet it makes me angry I cannot be with him…so I hurt him instead…even as my soul cries out in pain."

The Winter Elf's face was also implacable as she surveyed him…her new possession…a knight whose love had somehow survived being frozen. When she laid a hand against his cheek, he began to shiver slightly. Even the cursed slivers could not inure him to the cold of _her_ being.

"Yes," she finally answered. "I can take the pain away…both yours and his…but you must give yourself over to me. You will belong to me all your days. You will become as ice…and you will never see your brother again."

"Anything, My Queen. I will do _anything_ …not to hurt him anymore."

"Then so be it," she said, taking his face in both her hands and leaning down to kiss him. At the press of her lips, his skin froze, turning completely white and utterly numb to the cold, for he was cold itself now. Then she kissed him again, causing him to forget the life he had known up to that point. As far as he now knew, he had always belonged to the Snow Queen…had always been cold and hollow.

"What is your name?" she asked him. Slowly, he shook his head. He couldn't answer. He didn't know.

"And what is your brother's name?"

"I…I don't have a brother, My Queen."

"Good. Very good," she said, smiling to herself. The second kiss had done its work well. She did not kiss him a third time, though, for three kisses from the dead of winter will surely kill any living creature. Content with her new prize, the queen swept her long white cloak about him and the two of them vanished into the driving snow, leaving no trace behind.

XxX

Kili's fever dreams were of ice, blood, and snow. In his nightmares, he saw Fili turn to ice before disappearing into a snowstorm. Kili tried to follow, but all he could see were bloody footprints in the snow that eventually faded into nothing.

" _Fili!_ " he shouted, jerking himself awake from the nightmare. He awoke to find himself lying on his stomach on his mother's couch. His mother was sitting in a chair beside him, solidly between him and several of the village dwarves who now filled the house.

"Be calm, Kili," Dis soothed, quickly taking a cloth to her son's face to wipe away the sweat.

"M- Mother?" Kili murmured, still confused. He slowly propped himself up on his elbows, even though the movement hurt him. "Where…where's Fili?"

Dis took several moments to answer, biting her lip as she thought, sadness and worry darkening her eyes. "He's gone."

"Gone?" Kili repeated. "He got away?"

"He disappeared," Dwalin explained. "I followed him out of town…saw him standing alone on the riverbank. Then he just…wasn't there anymore. The only thing I can think…is that he jumped in…couldn't take the guilt of what he'd done."

"He…he's dead?" Kili whispered in shock, feeling tears begin to prick at his eyes as he looked to his mother and uncle again.

"We aren't certain," Thorin said, unable to meet his nephew's gaze. "Dwalin didn't actually see what happened. Kili-"

"Is it true, boy?" one of the village elders, Dain, demanded. "Is it true you gave yourself to your brother?"

"It's not true," Dis whispered, taking his face in her hands. "Tell me it's not true."

Kili shook his head. If he said anything else, Fili would be branded as a rapist, as well as being guilty of the even deeper crime of incest. If Fili was going down, he would go down with him. This whole tragedy was his fault, after all.

"It's true."

"You see? The boy admits it!" Dain declared to the others.

"I…desired my brother…and he gave me what I wanted…even though he was disgusted with me," he recounted dispassionately. "This is _my_ fault…not Fili's. Punish _me._ "

"Incest. Incest!" the cries came from throughout the room as the mob advanced on Kili. "The boy is tainted. He is evil! Rid the village of him!"

"No!" Dis shouted, leaping to her feet, her brother at her side. With Thorin holding back the mob, Dis turned back to her son. "Kili, I don't believe you wanted this. I _won't_ believe you wanted your brother to hurt you like this. You're lying…I don't know why…perhaps to protect him…but if you don't tell the truth, we won't be able to keep them from hurting you more. _Please,_ Kili. I don't want to see you hurt."

Kili could only gaze sadly at his mother. He didn't want her to have to endure this, but Fili was more important…even…even if he _was_ already dead.

"There is no truth but this. Let them take me. Let them put me to death if they will. I _will not_ let my brother's good name be defiled."

Dis began to weep as she pulled her son into her arms.

"Then may Mahal have mercy on us all…for what they are about to do."

XxX

_The mob dragged the young dwarf to the village square, tying him to a stake in the midst of the falling snow and baring his back to the cold night air._

_The immediate punishment for the sin of incest was twenty-five lashes, and this punishment was delivered violently and without mercy._

_Meanwhile, the Snow Queen and her new toy watched the proceedings from her northern fortress._

XxX

The mirror did not twist the image. To anyone with a heart, the sight would have been awful enough on its own: the young dwarf hanging limply from the stake, bound at the wrists, unable to stand anymore…his back painted with hideous red welts that bled freely onto the snow. With every lash that was laid to his raw, bleeding flesh, the dwarf cried out weakly.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how one looked at the situation, the two spectators did _not_ have hearts. The Snow Queen sat on her throne of ice, watching with a chilly smile on her face, while her blond dwarf sat at her feet like a dog. His head was laid out on her lap, his expression blank as she ran her fingers through his golden hair.

"What do you think, my pet?" the queen asked him.

"Nothing, really, My Lady…except that the dwarf must have done something truly wicked to deserve such a punishment."

"And you… _feel_ nothing?" she pressed. "This dwarf's pain does not touch anything inside you?"

"I feel nothing, Mistress," he said as he looked up, nuzzling against her hand. "You are the only thing I care for. They can kill the dwarfling if they wish. It would mean nothing to me. _Will_ they kill him?"

"They might," she said, her smile stretching a little wider as she stood. "We will find out in the morning. For now, let us go to bed."

"As you wish, Mistress," the dwarf said, following the Winter Elf as if led by a leash.

XxX

Thorin was the one to cut Kili down from the stake when it was all over, barely conscious and bleeding much worse than he had been. He carried him back to their home and Dis treated his injuries. They didn't really care what was true or not true, what Kili was accused of…what he had confessed to. All that mattered to them was that Kili was hurt and they would do everything in their power to help him. He shouldn't have been able to walk after such a beating, which was why Thorin was surprised to find him standing in the open doorway near midnight.

"They will call for my exile," the boy said quietly as Thorin came up behind him. "My death if they can manage it."

"I am their leader. They will do as I say," Thorin reminded him, "and I say what you have suffered already is punishment enough."

"It's true, you know," Kili said, turning from the falling snow to look at his uncle. "I'm not innocent of the sin of incest. I've wanted him ever since I understood what it was to want."

"And I have always known it," Thorin said. "Did you think we did not see the way you looked at each other?"

At this, Kili looked slightly stunned. "And you…you don't…you aren't-"

"Angry? No. Disappointed, perhaps, but there is nothing for it. What are your intentions now?"

Once again, Kili turned to look out at the falling snow. "If you will not exile me…allow me to choose my own exile. I cannot stay here. They will never accept me."

"Where will you go?"

"To find my brother."

"And if he is dead…?"

"Then I will lie down beside him…and remain at his side until all things end."

"And will you go with nothing more than the clothes on your back?"

Kili actually chuckled quietly at this. "Uncle, you know I can't carry a proper pack with my back torn up the way it is…and it's not snowing that hard yet. All I really need is this," he said, lifting his bow and quiver of arrows from where he had leaned them against the doorway. Thorin sighed heavily.

"I shouldn't let you do this. Your mother will have my head…but for some reason I believe the determination I see in your eyes. You _will_ find your brother…no matter how long it takes," he said, embracing his nephew for what might be the last time.

"Tell…tell Mother I love her."

"Every day. Now go and get your brother back."

Nodding, Kili shouldered his quiver and headed out into the snow, blinking back tears as he moved.

It took Kili much longer than normal to reach the bend in the river where Dwalin had seen Fili disappear. By the time he reached the bank, he was forced to crawl; it hurt so much to walk. Dragging himself as close to the edge as he possibly could, Kili gazed down into the river, vaguely aware of the outline of his own reflection.

"Mahal," he began to pray, "I don't…imagine I've earned any mercy from you…after what I did to Fili, but please…if you've taken him from me…give him back. Take me instead. I would give my life…if he could just have his back. Please…my brother…"

Kili was near delirious by this point, he was in so much pain, and near drowning in his feelings of guilt and sorrow; he hardly noticed that his wounds hadn't properly closed yet. A thin line of blood ran from his back and down along his face. From there, two drops of blood slipped down his face and fell into the river. For several moments, the two splashes of crimson seemed to float upon the surface, nearly black in the dim light. Then Kili drew in a ragged breath…and the whispers began to fill his head.

It wasn't so much a voice, as it was something connecting directly to his mind. A calm, soothing, flowing presence took hold of his consciousness…the river itself, perhaps? Either way, he heard…heard, saw, and understood.

_Your brother is not dead._

Fili…and the Snow Queen…

_He is enthralled to the Winter._

Two shards of glass…the sound of Fili screaming…

_She's taken him…to her palace in the Farthest North._

Fili's face…empty of all feeling…so cold…so empty…like _ice._

_Save him._

Kili cried out as the river's consciousness released him. For several minutes, he just lay on the snowy bank, breathing heavily. For a time, all he was cognizant of was a single thought, like a flame burning brightly in his head.

He had been right before. Something was wrong with Fili and it wasn't him. He'd been put under a spell.

"You…always loved me. Please forgive me for ever doubting it."

As the flame of resolve burned brighter in his heart, Kili forced himself up on his feet, past his pain, past all else except the thought that he _had_ to go on.

"I _will_ save you…no matter what."


	2. Part 2

_The young dwarf's resolve carried him for about a week. He hunted what he could, kept care of his still healing wounds, steadily making his way northward._

_The young dwarf would be the first to admit, though, that he was no healer. He hadn't truly thought things through when he'd started off on his quest. He had gone to the river that night half-thinking to die. As he moved through the wilderness, he began to realize that his wounds weren't healing properly. He would need to find help soon or he wouldn't be able to go on much longer._

XxX

Kili had managed to get his injuries to a point where the pain was manageable enough that he could move. Sometimes, though, the burning of the infected flesh made it near impossible to move. Tonight was such a night…and with how bad the agony had become, he wasn't sure he'd be able to rise again in the morning. So he kept going, crawling through the growing snowdrifts.

He knew that there was a town nearby from hunting trips into the area with Fili, and he could have sworn he was nearing it…but he'd been swearing that for about a day and a half now. Clearly, he'd gotten himself turned around…and probably would have continued to wander until he collapsed had he not suddenly fallen over a drop in the forest floor that had been hidden by the snow.

Kili tumbled several feet to the bottom of the hill…and for the barest moment, he didn't think he'd ever be able to rise again.

That was when he heard the sound of a bird chirping, where no bird had any business to be at this time of year. Slowly, Kili lifted his head…

…and found himself staring into a clearing in the middle of spring. At some line about a foot from his face, the snow vanished, turning into new spring grass. Flowers bloomed, birds fluttered about, singing their songs, and a stream trickled merrily through. By now, the poor dwarf figured he had completely lost it. The pain and the cold had become so bad, they'd finally sent him into delusions. Figuring he may as well die warm, he pulled himself the last few inches into the clearing.

"I'm sorry, Fili. I'm so sorry," Kili whispered as he curled up on the grass. "Sorry…I couldn't save you."

"Oh, dear," a strange voice sounded in his ear. "Oh, dear, dear, dear."

Kili glanced to the side. Though his vision was starting to darken around the edges, he thought he saw a man heading toward him, an old man dressed in tattered brown robes. Several birds flitted about his head, chirping in concern.

"Dear me, this wasn't supposed to happen…not at all. Boy, quickly, what's your name?"

"Huh?" he mumbled, consciousness starting to slip from his grasp.

"Tell me your _name_ , quickly, before you _lose_ it. The magic is working on you even now."

He thought…and for one horrifying moment, he couldn't grasp it. His name? He had one. Of course, he did…surely…what…?

 _Kili_ …he vaguely heard the warm voice of his brother in his head…a distant memory.

"Kili," he said quietly before finally losing consciousness.

XxX

_The young dwarf could not have known it with the state he was in, but this man he'd stumbled across was actually a wizard. The old one kept the clearing where his cottage lay separate from the rest of the world with a spell. His little clearing was kept safe and was in perpetual spring._

_The wizard didn't know how, but his unexpected guest had somehow seen through his magic, and as the spell kept the rest of the world from knowing his home was there, it was now having the opposite effect on the dwarf, keeping him from remembering the outside world. The spell had caused him to forget everything he had ever known, and the wizard knew reversing it wasn't so simple a thing as sending him back through the barrier. The young dwarf would have to remember on his own…or he would be lost forever._

XxX

He was summoned from his deep sleep by the strong scent of herbs. The next thing he noticed was a dull ache all along the back of his body. When he started to shift, he heard a voice a few feet away.

"Don't move too much, Kili. You've been badly injured."

Slowly opening his eyes, he lifted his head to see an old man bent over a kettle on a fire, retrieving strips of cloth from the boiling water.

"Kili?" he mumbled weakly, head dropping back to the bed he was lying on.

"Your name, I believe. It was the name you gave me before you passed out. You've been unconscious for nearly two days now. Your wounds had become infected and you'd come down with a bad fever. It's only just now beginning to break," the old man explained as he carried the strips of cloth to him.

"Kili," the young dwarf repeated several times. It seemed like a good enough name, even though he felt no particular attachment to it. There was no reason to doubt it was his name.

"Do you remember anything else?" the old man asked as he applied the new dressings to his wounds. Kili hissed at the brief sting, but then tried to distract himself by casting out his mind, trying hard to remember something… _anything_.

"I was…looking for something…" he said slowly. He knew that much. There had been something…so important…but he couldn't remember what.

"Well, you've been through something very traumatic. Memory loss can happen. Perhaps you will remember in time."

"Where am I?" Kili asked, looking up at the old man again.

"My home. I am Radagast the wizard. I'm not entirely certain how you found my little hideaway; most people can't see it, but you're certainly welcome to stay here until your wounds have fully healed."

"Thank you," Kili said quietly, allowing his head to drop once more. It bothered him terribly that he could remember nothing, but at the same time, he was still so very exhausted, still sick from whatever horrible experience he'd been through. As of right now, he had little choice but to rest…rest and hope he could somehow regain his memory…somehow get back whatever it was that was so important.

XxX

 _Gradually, the young dwarf's injuries healed and his illness passed…but his memory did not return. There were even times when he wasn't certain he_ _**did** _ _want it back. He knew from his wounds that he had been whipped…probably to within an inch of his life…and worse than that even…that he had been raped. What had happened to him? Had he committed some terrible crime…or had he been a victim? He didn't know._

_The days passed in this way for some time, time passing by in something of a blur for the young dwarf…until one day, he happened to be out in the wizard's garden…_

XxX

There were always new flowers blooming in Radagast's little clearing. Sometimes Kili liked to walk around and just look at all the different kinds, as there were many exotic ones he'd never seen before. Today, though, it wasn't something new and exotic that caught his eye; it was something…strangely familiar.

The blossoms were red and full, blooming beautifully.

 _Roses,_ he thought faintly as he reached forward to stroke one of the enticing blooms. As he gazed upon them, he could feel his heart pounding and his throat beginning to tighten. Something was stirring inside of him.

He remembered…lovely grey eyes and golden hair…a small body next to his own…hardly more than children.

He remembered hands holding his…warm and loving…and lips…lips pressing furtive kisses to his brow, cheeks, nose, and hands…but never his own lips. A forbidden desire…a secret so dark and so monstrous…but also the honey sweetness of a love so pure…

Gasping at the strength of the memories, Kili looked down at the fragile blossom in his hands to find it shining with tiny drops of water…only there was no rain. Tears?

_Am I…the one…crying?_

There was pain in his heart…pain so deep he could hardly breathe.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, though he had no idea whom he was apologizing to. "I'm so sorry."

Leaning closer to the rosebush, Kili inhaled the scent of the blossom…and suddenly everything came rushing back.

His home…Mother and Uncle…all of their friends…his _brother._

_Fili…oh, Fili!_

He remembered his forbidden passion…his sinful wish to be with his own brother…and he remembered a night in a cave…buried under ice and snow…hidden from the unforgiving judgment of the world. He remembered Fili's tender embrace…the sweet hell of his kiss…and the feel of their bodies…closer than breathing. Even through all the guilt, he could still feel his brother's love.

_"I love you."_

Last of all, he remembered the pain…the villain who had stolen his brother…taken that love away from him.

"Oh, Fili! _Fili!_ " he cried out as he fell to his knees. "Can you ever forgive me? How could I have forgotten?!"

There was no time for pleas and pity now, though. Once Kili had managed to haul himself back to his feet, he rushed back into Radagast's cottage to retrieve his bow and arrows. Radagast knew what had changed the moment he caught Kili's eyes.

"So…it's time, is it," the old wizard said, offering his young charge a relieved, but somewhat sad smile.

"I have to go, Radagast. My brother needs me. I…I really do hate to leave. You've been very kind to me…and I would have died without your help."

Radagast raised a hand and shook his head. "Think nothing of it, Kili. There's someone who needs you; so go to him."

Nodding, Kili briefly embraced the old wizard before turning and heading out of the cottage, fairly flying through the clearing and out into the world beyond.

The young dwarf was stunned to find that he'd emerged into a world in full tilt of summer. It had been winter when he'd entered Radagast's sanctuary. He had no way of knowing how much time had passed. How long had Fili been in the clutches of the Snow Queen?

Well, the only way to find out was to reach civilization again, so Kili started off. He trekked through the forest for about half a day before finally reaching the outskirts of the town he'd previously been searching for. As he approached through the open fields, he came across another dwarf gathering berries in a thicket of berry brambles.

"Ho, there!" Kili called out to him. The dwarf looked up, nearly dropping his basket in a fright. Then he chuckled, taking several deep breaths as Kili approached him.

"Ho, yourself. You just come right up out of nowhere, don't ye, lad. Scared me half to death, ye did."

"Forgive me if I sound ignorant…but could you tell me what year it is?"

The older dwarf stared at him oddly for a few moments before answering and when Kili heard the year and month, he blanched to the roots of his hair.

Eight months. He had been trapped in the forest for _eight months._

"Lost track of your nap, did ye, lad?" the older dwarf asked, giving him an odd smile. Kili shuddered. It was a little too close to the truth.

"I've been…lost…for quite some time," the young dwarf said slowly.

"Not lost no more, I hope."

"I'm not sure."

"Well…where is it you're headin'?"

"The Farthest North," Kili answered, his gaze hardening. Unless his new acquaintance had lived his life under a rock, he would know what that meant…and indeed, a look of uneasiness came over his face at Kili's words.

"What business might ye have with the Winter Elf? What's so important it can't be got somewhere else?"

"The elf witch has stolen my love from me…and I mean to rescue him," Kili said, his tone turning somewhat vicious. The older dwarf looked him up and down yet another moment before continuing.

"I can see by your face it's no good tellin' ye to stay away. You're not the quittin' type…but those touched by the Snow Queen, they say…can never really come back. Whatever reason she took your love, lad…he's no better than a statue of ice now. Ye aren't the same anymore. Your warmth would hurt him."

"I know that," Kili said, a trace of sadness in his voice as he remembered how it had pained Fili to touch him, not because he'd thought him disgusting, as he'd believed, but because it had been physically painful for his frost-kissed skin to come into contact with Kili's warm body.

"It'd be best to remember him as he was…and live out your life in peace. That'd be what somebody who loves ye would want for ye."

"I know. Believe me, I know. I know all the stories…but what happened to him was _my fault_. I didn't fight for him when I should have. It would be death to me…to not at least _try_ to save him."

The other dwarf sighed sadly, looping his free arm around Kili's shoulders. "I feared as much. Well…come to the town and at least get a decent night's rest before you go traipsin' off into the unknown. My master just might be able to help you plot a course."

"Your master?"

"Oh, yes. Prince Bilbo, the king's youngest son, is my lord. He and his retinue have been summering in this town. He's got quite a collection of maps. I should think he'd be able to help ye figure out a route to follow. My name's Bofur, by the way," he added as he led the way into the town, almost as an afterthought.

"I'm Kili," the young dwarf responded, still a little wary, but beginning to smile despite himself.

"Good to know ye, Kili."

XxX

It was said that the youngest son of the king was not a fully blooded dwarf at all, and Kili found this to be true upon meeting him. He was part halfling, much shorter than any dwarf Kili had ever known. He made no comment on it, though. If the prince could help him find his way, he would be most grateful.

When Bofur brought him before Bilbo, the prince was in his library pouring through two books, apparently trying to correct the discrepancies of one of the maps. Two other dwarves sat a little to the side of the table where their prince was working: Bofur's brothers, Bifur and Bombur.

"Oh, this is absolutely dreadful," the prince muttered as he worked. "The Rhun Lakes aren't even noted. I shall have to go through the entire collection."

"And won't that make _you_ the happiest little princeling in all the world," Bofur interrupted with a chuckle. Bilbo looked up, grinning at his friend, but his expression shifted to something curious when he noticed Kili.

"Who is this?"

"A subject I met out in the fields. He wishes to ask a favor of your highness."

"And what would that be?"

Dropping to one knee before the prince, Kili lowered his head. "Your Majesty…I would beg you for a route to the Farthest North."

Bilbo's eyebrows rose in interest. "The domain of the Snow Queen?"

"Yes."

"I would advise against such a route. Few have ever returned from the Farthest North. What do you seek there?"

"I seek the love of my life. The Snow Queen's taken him from me."

The prince's look changed from one of interest to something of pity at this. "Then I suppose there's little sense in trying to talk you down from a quest so great as that. Where do you hail from?"

"My name is Kili. I come from the village of Erebor, many miles west of here."

"And how long has your love been gone?"

"Fili was taken eight months ago…but he has been in her power for nearly two years."

"It will not be easy, then. I hope you are certain of your love, as this is easily something you could die for."

"Fili is my life," he said, meeting the prince's gaze with total conviction. "I have nothing else."

Bilbo nodded once before going to fetch another book from the shelves, beckoning Kili to the table as he spread the large tome over the wooden surface.

"The _safest_ route would be to go around the Misty Mountains, but that could take you many months more. The _quickest_ route to the Farthest North is straight up through the mountain passes, but the way is treacherous. It is plagued with fell beasts and bandits."

Kili nodded. "That is my road, then." The quicker, the better.

"The few who have made it through the Misty Mountains say there is an old wizard who dwells in the last valley before the Northern Ice Fields. If you can find him, he may be able to help you face the Winter Elf."

"Thank you," Kili said, still staring down at the maps, memorizing each route. The way was clear up through the Misty Mountains, but the Northern Ice Fields were only vaguely charted. The upper most end of the map was ominously marked as 'The Farthest North.'

"It would perhaps do better for me to send out a few guards to accompany you," the prince mused. "Maybe some form of transport."

"Again, thank you, Highness, but I couldn't possibly. It will go faster with just me…and no transport will do me any good once I reach the high country. I will go alone and on foot."

"As you wish, but at least allow us to set you up with a few essential provisions, and do let us provide you with food and a bed for the night. Who knows when you're likely to see either again," Bilbo said, sounding almost as if he lamented the idea.

"I would gladly accept that favor. You've been most generous and very helpful. I dare not ask anymore, only…"

"What is it?"

"My mother…and my uncle…the people in my family. They must certainly be mourning my death. Could you send my family word I'm alive? They would be most grateful."

"If you'll let me do nothing else, it's the least I can do."

"You've done enough, Highness. The rest I must do on my own."

XxX

_The young dwarf struck out for the Misty Mountains the next morning with nothing more than his bow and arrows and a pack on his back._

_He made good time at first, moving easily through the lower passes, but then he entered the higher country and the weather began to worsen, raining and sleeting by turns. Hunting became difficult and the young dwarf was forced to subsist on what little he could gather. It didn't seem like the situation could be more grim, but one must never underestimate a nasty situation. Bad can always become worse._

XxX

Kili was aware of it the moment he was being pursued. There was nowhere to hide and the way was too treacherous for a quick escape. So he came to a stop and fitted an arrow to his bow, keeping his back to a nearby tree.

Within moments, he was surrounded by a gang of bandits, each with a weapon more grisly-looking than the last. The gang seemed to be made up of dwarves and men, maybe even a few goblins, if his eyes were not deceived.

"Go ahead and try it, boy," one of the dwarves challenged. "You may get one or two of us before we get you, but we'll have you in the end. Lay down your arms."

Shaking his head, Kili laughed bitterly as he laid down his bow. "Well, go ahead. Strip me to the bones. You'll not find much worth having."

"We'll see," the dwarf said, giving the signal to pounce. They wrestled Kili to the ground, stripping him of his quiver and pack. As Kili had said, they found only some spare arrowheads, flint and tinder, a waterskin, his bedroll, a fur blanket, and a few scraps of dried bear meat, which were quickly consumed.

"He's useless," the bandits began to grumble. "Let's slit his throat."

"Wait!" the first dwarf protested. "The fur. Look!"

The man who held the fur blanket held it up, revealing a design of two war hammers crossed over a fire and anvil monogrammed onto it: the royal crest.

"This little rabbit's worth more than he's letting on. He's got ties to the royal family."

"No. You're not-" Kili tried to argue…but was quickly silenced when the dwarf delivered a hard kick to his gut, leaving him curled into a ball on the ground.

"What are you? A prince in hiding…or perhaps a traitor? What do you suppose the king would pay to get you back? A ransom for a beloved relative…or a reward for the capture of a criminal? Bind his hands," the dwarf ordered one of the others. Kili struggled briefly, but one of the men delivered a harsh blow to his head, leaving his world black.

XxX

When Kili came to, it was to a dim, dank cave. His wrists and ankles were bound tightly with rope and he had been stripped of everything but his shirt and trousers. His boots and winter clothing had been taken along with his scant provisions.

A second look around the room revealed several animals in the cave with him: several doves, a young badger, and last of all, a pure white reindeer who stared at him through large eyes…almost as if he knew something Kili didn't.

"How are you feeling?" a new voice asked. Kili looked to the tunnel that led out of the cave to see a young dwarf heading in, perhaps even younger than himself.

"Sore," he answered wryly, shifting rather fruitlessly in his bonds, "and rather like my head was run over by a carriage."

"That was Boromir. They did have to knock you out to bring you down here," the younger dwarf said as he sat down beside him, his voice apologetic.

"Where am I?"

"Deep inside the mountain. This is where we live…so nobody bothers us."

Kili chuckled bitterly at this. "Who would bother a gang of _thieves?_ "

The other dwarf looked saddened by this. "I really must apologize for them. They're not bad…not really; it's just…times are hard. You do what you must…even band together with goblins," he said with a shudder. "By the way, my name's Ori."

"Kili."

"Is it true what they say? That you're a noble?"

Again, Kili chuckled. "No. I'm just an ordinary dwarf, like the rest of you. A prince was kind to me once. That's all."

Ori's eyes widened at this. "Then you mustn't let them find out the truth. They'll be very angry. I don't want to think about what they might do to you."

"Whatever it is, it would be little more than I deserve," Kili said, slumping against the cave wall.

"Who are you?" Ori asked him, his curiosity sparked. "What are you doing out here if you aren't…in hiding or on the run?"

"I am here…because I seek for the Farthest North."

Ori gasped aloud, his eyes going even wider. "Why would you seek for that awful place?"

"The Winter Elf has stolen the one I love from me. I didn't…protect him when I should have; so I'm going to save him…even if it costs me my life."

"Mahal above, how perfectly awful," Ori lamented. "To have your love taken from you so cruelly. But…to make this journey…you must be very brave."

"Not really. I'm just…trying to fix what I did. If I'd realized sooner…maybe I could have done something?" Kili pondered, feeling the tears he'd held back for so long beginning to prick at his eyes again. "I'm not brave. I'm a coward. I'm…terrified…of living without him."

"But how will you find your way?" Ori asked, completely caught up in the story now. "So few have ever returned alive from that place."

"They say there is a wizard who lives on the borders of the Northern Ice Fields. If I can find him, I may have a chance. But how to get out of here…I have no idea."

All of the animals in the cave suddenly got excited at the mention of the wizard. The doves began to flap their wings and the badger started to roll around on the floor. The reindeer tossed his head back and forth several times.

"Why are…all these animals here?" Kili asked.

"Well…the doves and the badger are sort of…mine, but I found the reindeer in a pass a few weeks ago with an injured leg. The others were serious about eating him at first, but I guess they just got scared. After all, there's never been a white reindeer seen by mortal eyes in all the world. I think he'll be well enough to leave in a few days, though," Ori said, reaching over to stroke the reindeer's neck…but froze mid stroke when both he and Kili heard a voice in their heads.

_You're right about that, Ori. In fact, I'd say I'm ready to go now._

"Why didn't…you tell me you could speak?" Ori asked, still floored.

"Well…technically, he's _not_ speaking," Kili pointed out as he looked at the reindeer. "He's communicating with our spirits." After some of the things he'd seen, this was hardly shocking.

 _You are wise in the ways of the world, young Kili. You may not think it of yourself, but you have seen much…learned…_ _ **lost**_ _much,_ the reindeer said, its watery gaze fixed on Kili.

"Who are you?" Kili asked him.

_I am a faerie animal…a spirit of the ancient world. There are few of us remaining, and fewer still in the world who would not fear my presence. You have been very kind to me, Ori, and you will know good fortune for it._

"I…thank you," the younger dwarf stammered. "What is…your name? Do you have one?"

The reindeer seemed to laugh at this. _I do. Shadowfax is my name, and the wizard you seek is a friend of mine. If you wish it, Kili, I can guide you to him._

For a moment, Kili was dumbstruck. After all this time, all these miles, had he really found his way at last? Had he really found help? Kili woke from his trance to find Ori smiling at him.

"It's your chance, Kili. You can rescue your lover. I'll show you the way out of here myself."

"Won't the others be angry with you…if you help me escape?"

"Not if they don't find out," Ori said as he untied Kili's bonds. "Wait here. I'll be right back."

Kili spent the time Ori was gone rubbing the feeling back into his wrists and ankles. When the younger dwarf returned, he was carrying a coat and boots.

"I couldn't find what they did with your clothes and bow, but these should fit you. You'll need them. The heavy snowfalls have started."

Kili nodded his understanding as he dressed himself. Then, pulling the hood of the coat up to conceal his features, he followed Ori and Shadowfax up out of the chamber.

They only passed a few other bandits moving through the labyrinthine passages of the mountain hideaway, and all were only too glad to steer clear when they saw Ori was leading the white reindeer. They were quite happy to see the strange beast leaving. When they finally reached the outside, Kili was almost surprised they hadn't had more trouble. Ori smiled apologetically as he helped Kili up onto Shadowfax's back.

"They all like to think they're some ruthless gang of thugs, but they aren't very good at it. We're all really just a band of drifters, but…well…we're family, I suppose," he said, his smile shifting to something sad.

"And sometimes…family is all you have," Kili said, his own expression growing wistful. "Thank you for helping me. I'll never forget it."

Ori shook his head, his smile brightening once again. "Go. Go save your love. They'll notice you're gone soon."

"Be safe," Kili said before he and Shadowfax rode off into the snowy night.

XxX

_The rest of the journey through the mountains took another week. The reindeer didn't need much rest or sustenance, so they didn't stop often. The spirit animal forged ahead through the thickening snow and the treacherous passes._

_As they drew closer to the last valley, the young dwarf was nearly gone with exhaustion and the reindeer encouraged him to rest, as he would need all of his strength for the days ahead. The young dwarf fought it at first, but ultimately couldn't overcome his exhaustion. He was fast asleep when they arrived at the wizard's home._

XxX

Shadowfax wasn't all that surprised to see Gandalf waiting outside his small home when he approached, even though the snow was nearly blinding. The old reindeer felt almost certain he must know of the young dwarf and his quest.

"A little later than I'd anticipated," he called to Shadowfax as he herded him through the front door. "Still you're both in one piece."

Shadowfax shook the snow from his body while Gandalf helped him slide the sleeping dwarf from his back and onto a bed. Kili was so drained he slept through all of it.

"Poor child," Gandalf said softly as he surveyed the young dwarf. "He's been through so much."

 _Is there anything you can do for him?_ Shadowfax asked. _Any sort of magic you might work. There must be something we can do to help him face her. Galadriel won't give up what she holds so easily._

Gandalf shook his head. "My dear fellow, I can do nothing more for him than Kili can already do himself. It is not greater magic or strength of arms that will save them from her power. It is the purity of their love for one another. Nothing is stronger than that. Despite what others think of them, they love truly. They would each see the other happy…even if they themselves become unhappy. Galadriel believes she has twisted their love, but I believe they will prove stronger in the end. If Kili and Fili cannot defeat her themselves, there is nothing we can do for them. All I can do for the boy now is see that he has some rest and gets some proper hot food in him before he sets forth on the final stretch of his journey."

XxX

The Snow Queen had ceased to keep an eye on Kili after he'd become entangled in Radagast's spell. It seemed to her that the little dwarf was out of the way for good and she would never have to trouble herself with him again. She would have her little toy until he wore out or she grew tired of him.

The blond dwarf was very much like her after being at her side for a year…only he seemed to lack the bitterness she had, which the queen found she enjoyed somewhat. He was perfect…cold and heartless and perfect…like a little soldier made of ice. That's what he was to her, her little knight, as she had quite forgotten his name by then.

Best of all, she was the center of her little pet dwarf's world. He spent most of his days at her feet…and in her bed, if she felt the need, though she could never kiss him. She knew this had been won with magic, of course, but she still allowed herself to feel a small amount of triumph over the mousy little brown-haired dwarf whenever her pet entered her, cold moving between their frozen forms instead of heat. The dwarf took no joy of this, she knew, for she had taken joy and all other feeling from his heart when she'd taken his memories. He could feel nothing… _care_ for nothing. He was simply devoted…because he had nothing else.

The queen became aware of Kili's presence again when he'd made it to Gandalf's home, half frozen. Rage began to burn in her frozen heart when her own little dwarf approached her mirror and laid a hand on the image of the dwarf he no longer knew.

"Who is he, Mistress? Why does he anger you so?"

Shrieking in rage, the queen seized the young dwarf and pushed him against the mirror, taking him right there…as if the little brother could somehow see what was happening.

As with everything else, her little toy put up no resistance. He just let her take what she wanted, offering up the occasional sound of pleasure because he knew she enjoyed it. As always, though, his eyes were empty, black as a starless night.

 _Do you see it, you pathetic little dwarfling? I am_ _**everything** _ _to him. He doesn't want you. He doesn't_ **_love_ ** _you. Your love is broken. Your quest has been in vain. Your brother is_ **_mine_ ** _…now and forever._

"He will not take you from me," the ancient faerie hissed in the young dwarf's ear. " _I_ have won you. You belong to _me_. No one else will have you."

The frozen dwarf had nothing to say to this. He simply stared at the queen with nothing in his eyes. No love, no joy, no hatred, no pain, just…

…nothing.

XxX

_It isn't fear he knows as Fili takes him. He fears no physical pain. It is only anguish…pain in his heart…that he has brought his brother to this._

_**I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from this. This is my fault.** _

_Then the physical pain begins…only Fili doesn't take him from behind this time. He's splayed with his back against the wall, facing his brother as he pounds into him. He's helpless to do anything…unable to save Fili or himself. All he can do is feel the pain as he gazes into his brother's black, soulless eyes._

Kili awoke from the nightmare with a scream, bolting up from the bed he lay on. As his eyes darted fearfully around the unfamiliar hovel, an old man was suddenly at his side, pressing a hand to his forehead.

"Calm yourself, young Kili. You are safe. It was only a nightmare."

"No," Kili panted, struggling for calm as he grabbed the old man's wrist. "That…that wasn't just a bad dream. I…I'm not…it wasn't-"

"The Snow Queen is aware of your presence, then. She is attempting to breach your mind…to get to you through your own feelings of guilt and fear."

Kili nearly laughed at this, finally releasing the old man. "Mahal knows there's plenty and enough of _that._ "

"You mustn't let her shake your faith now, Kili. You've come much too far for that," he said, bringing the young dwarf a mug of hot tea. "And perhaps, if you can succeed where others have failed, you may be able to save more than one life."

Kili had no idea what he meant, and he didn't really care. All he cared about now was Fili. After a few moments of breathing in the soothing steam from the tea, he asked, "Where am I?"

"The last home before the Northern Ice Fields. My home. I am Gandalf, Gandalf the wizard, and I believe you've been searching for me."

"Y-yes!" Kili started, nearly dropping the mug. "Gandalf, I need your help. I need your help to rescue my love from the Snow Queen."

"Kili…there is no help you need I can give you. What you need, you have already."

"What…what are you talking about?"

"Think, boy. What has carried you this far but your love for your brother?"

"But…love didn't save him before. Why should my feelings make any difference now?" Kili argued. "My feelings…are poison."

"One piece of advice I _can_ give you is that you need to stop thinking like that. What is in your heart is not poisonous. The love you bear for Fili is the purest kind of love. _Others_ have made what you feel poisonous, and _they_ do not matter. You will know the truth when the time comes."

"But…how will I _find_ him? I do not know the way."

"That is easy enough. From this spot, you have but to walk straight North. You must be wary, though. She knows you are coming and she fears your power. She will attempt to turn you aside. She will give you doubt and despair, but you must not falter; you _must not_ give in. No matter how hard it gets, you must keep going. No weapon or power will see you through to the end of this. Only you yourself can do that."

"And how will I save him? How do I free him from her spell?"

"As I said, you will know when the time comes. That power is within _you_ , not in anything _I_ can give you."

Kili wanted to ask more, to try and understand what the wizard meant, but before he could speak, the door blew open, admitting Shadowfax from a sea of white. The spirit animal quickly shook the snow from his fur.

 _This blizzard isn't going to let up. It's only getting worse. It's_ _**her** _ _work. You will just have to brave it, Kili._

Kili looked uncertain for a moment, but finally nodded his head. Gandalf smiled wearily at him.

"As I thought. Come, Kili. We had best get something hot in your belly before we let you go out into her storm."

XxX

Kili was certain his host made a very delicious fish stew, but he hardly tasted it as he shoveled down the offering. The next few moments before he stepped back out into the snow were something of a blur. All he was really aware of as he stepped into the white once more was the feeling of a full belly and being wrapped in a new coat.

The young dwarf soon gave up on any method of keeping track of time. He simply continued to move forward, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other…and as the time wore on, his feet began to feel so heavy and his footsteps gradually began to falter. He was dragging himself forward at an inch an hour. The air had become so cold he could hardly feel his body, even with the layers of warm clothing. He was little more than a spirit wandering lost through the blinding white.

 _You will_ _**never** _ _reach him. You will wander forever in this endless ice…a fate you well deserve. He doesn't care for you anymore. You were selfish and heartless that night. You cared only for what_ **_you_ ** _wanted and you broke his heart. You_ **_destroyed_ ** _your love. Now you will suffer for it._

Kili tried to keep going, but he could feel his heart breaking as the words assaulted his mind. He couldn't escape the truth of them. Unable to force himself even another step forward under the weight of guilt and sorrow that crushed his spirit, Kili finally collapsed. Tears streamed down his face, freezing before they could fall to the icy ground.

Kili lay facedown in the snow, barely breathing as the flakes began to cover his body.

He could hear them now…the voices of the villagers, the friends and family he'd grown up with…all telling him how disgusting he was, how he deserved to die…how Fili would be better off without him. Maybe…if he died…the Snow Queen would let Fili go?

_You'll never succeed. You may as well die here._

Just as Kili was succumbing to that final darkness, though, a light seemed to flicker on in his heart…a memory so distant, it was almost gone.

_Fili gazing out the window as if in a trance…the feel of his cold hands in his…_

_"Your hands are like ice. Come sit by me again. Warm up."_

_The two of them cuddling together…holding each other…the light in his brother's eyes…his smile…his warmth…_

_**Fili.** _

**_My brother…my love…my brother!_ **

Feeling his strength renewed, Kili forced himself up on his feet, up through the layers of snow that had so nearly become his tomb.

"If you will not…give him back to me…at least allow me to bargain for him."

_What would you give in return for him?_

"I would give my heart…my freedom…my life…anything you ask," he said…and the strange voice seemed to hear his whisper even through the howl of the storm, for an icy gate suddenly appeared before him, opening at his touch.

_Then come make your bargain, little child. We will see if I am in a giving mood._

Kili entered the Snow Queen's palace with no small amount of trepidation. After all, he had seen what her power had done to Fili on a whim. What might that same power do to him, who deliberately stood against her?

It seemed to Kili that he wandered through the ice-carved hallways for hours, expecting danger around every turn, before he finally stumbled into a large chamber with high vaulted ceilings. Nearly an entire wall of the chamber was taken up by a large mirror, and a throne was seated not far from the mirror…and at the foot of that throne sat…

" _Fili!_ " Kili cried out, immediately running toward his brother. The older dwarf gazed vaguely in his direction, but made no reaction as Kili threw his arms around him. "I searched for you. I've traveled the world. I've searched _everywhere_ for you!" he cried out, hugging his love as tightly as he could.

"You," his brother said as he drew back from him to have a look at him. His voice was harsh like a jagged icicle. "Who _are_ you?"

Even though Kili had half-expected this, he could still feel something inside of him begin to break at this. His brother's eyes were as black and empty as the day he'd last seen him.

"What are you talking about? It's _me._ Kili! Don't you recognize me?"

Fili shook his head, just staring at him all the while. "I don't know who you are."

"Well…m-maybe I can help you. Please…let's just go. Let's get away from this awful place," Kili said, taking Fili by the hand, but the other dwarf resisted being pulled to his feet.

"Why would I go with you? I belong to my lady Queen."

Once again, Kili moved to his knees before his brother, feeling tears begin to fall in earnest as he reached forward to cup his face in both hands.

"I'm so sorry," Kili cried, stroking Fili's white cheeks with both thumbs. It burned both of them to touch, but neither cared. "This is all my fault. Can't…you hear me?" he pleaded, pressing his lips to his brother's. Still the empty shell that had been Fili remained frozen and unmoved…but a sort of curiosity sparked in his black eyes as he reached forward to touch the tears on Kili's face, burning his icy fingers on their warmth.

"Why are…you crying?"

"Because I hurt you. I _let_ this happen to you. It should be _me,_ " he sobbed, enveloping his brother in an embrace once more, burying his face in his chest. "Please…I would give my life…if you could just…be yourself again. Come back. I love you."

Kili didn't realize it, but his tears were soaking through to Fili's chest. The warmth of them…the well of emotion they sprang from…was beginning to pierce through to his heart, melting the frozen shard that was poisoning him. Kili couldn't see it, but Fili was beginning to thaw.

"It's no use. You can't wake him," an imperious voice suddenly sounded in the chamber. Kili whipped around to behold the Snow Queen as she entered her throne room.

"It's you."

"Your voice can no longer reach your brother where he is. Did you know he came to me willingly?"

"I…I don't believe you," Kili said uncertainly, standing between Fili and the Snow Queen.

"No? He did it to escape the pain. You see, little one, about two years ago, my lovely mirror caught sight of you and your brother. This mirror can twist what it sees, turning warmth into cold, beauty into ugliness, and love into hatred. But my mirror could not twist the love you had for each other. I wanted to know why, so I sent two shards of the mirror out into the world to seek you…one for your brother and one for you, to pierce your hearts and freeze your love."

"One…for me?" Kili whispered, laying a hand over his heart as a chill stole across it. "What…what happened?"

"Your brother took the shard meant for him…but he also took the one meant for you. He wouldn't let it touch you. He took it into his eye, and ever after, his vision and his heart grew twisted."

"That was…the night we lay together…wasn't it."

"Just so. Even _that_ failed to truly twist his love for you, though. As the rest of the world grew darker and uglier, you became that much more beautiful by comparison. He was incapable of seeing you as anything but beautiful, and your beauty made him see his own ugliness. So the power of the mirror manifested as anger and hatred toward himself and violence against you…in a failed attempt to drive you away from him."

"It…really is my fault, then. He did it to save me," Kili said slowly, not daring to look back at his brother.

"Yes."

"What can I do…to turn back the clock? What can I do to take his pain onto myself? There must be a way."

"You say you would…take his place?"

"I would give the breath in my body to take this away from him. Can you undo this spell or not?"

"Yes," she lied. "It's really quite simple. I'll show you," she said, drawing him into her arms, as she'd done with his brother.

While this had been happening, Fili had been struggling to break free of the shield of ice that encased his soul. It was melting, but not fast enough. That dwarf, with dark hair and the lovely dark eyes…he was important… _so_ important. He just couldn't remember _why._ Fighting against the enchantment, he reached a hand toward the familiar stranger, stretching across the space between them. A name came to him from a place so deep inside it had nearly been gone.

"Kili?"

Hearing his name, the younger dwarf turned, his face painted with joyous shock when he saw Fili looking at him…really _looking_ at him. The tiny moment of perfect joy was almost instantly shattered, though.

The Snow Queen turned Kili in her arms and pressed her lips to his. Kili struggled briefly, but it didn't take long for his skin to go white and icy, just as Fili's had. Then she kissed him again and his eyes went black, the memory bleeding out of them.

" _NOO!_ " Fili screamed, the spell on him shattering as his memory returned. As the queen bent to kiss Kili one last time, he bolted forward. All it would take was one final brush of the lips…

Fili tore his brother away from his former mistress. He hadn't seen if she'd actually kissed him. He just held Kili's unmoving body close to his as he glowered at the Snow Queen.

"You promised me the pain would stop! You _promised!_ Look at him! He's been suffering…all this time…because of _me!_ " he shouted, fearing to look down…to check and see if Kili still drew breath.

"I've kept my promise. I assure you…he feels no pain anymore…and he never will again."

"No," Fili whispered, finally looking down at his brother. His chest was still and no breath rose from his lips. "No…Kili…my baby brother…my Kili…no. _Please_ don't be dead. Please…please…no…"

As the tears poured down his face, the warmth of their sorrow and love melted the shard in Fili's eye, finally freeing him from the queen's influence.

"Well, I suppose he did get his wish, after all…to be able to die for you."

Fili had nothing to say to this. All he could manage to do was clutch Kili to his chest, weeping openly.

"What have I done to you?" he cried. "Why…why for me? _I'm_ supposed to protect _you._ "

"You may still be able to," a new voice said. Fili looked up to see an old man entering the chamber. The queen glared at him.

"What do you mean?" Fili asked.

"What are you doing here?" the queen demanded.

"You power is waning, Galadriel, even now. You have not conquered their love. There is no way you can defeat it. Kili's love for his brother broke your spell, and because you are weakening, I have little doubt Fili could still save him…that the strength of his love could still call Kili back. Why are you still fighting it? Don't you think it's time? Don't you think it's time we went home?"

Slowly, the Snow Queen, Galadriel, former queen of the faeries, turned away from the old wizard, an actual grain of sadness showing in her eyes.

"Nothing else lasts. Why should this one tiny, weak thing survive…when nothing else does?"

"It isn't weak. It's the strongest force imaginable. You knew that once. If you would only allow yourself to remember it, you would be free."

"Gandalf," she said softly, eyes bright with unshed tears. "I…I _miss_ them."

"Then go to them, dear Lady," he returned as he moved toward her. When she allowed him near, he rested a hand on her cheek. Then she smiled faintly, a true smile, before vanishing into thin air.

"Be at peace…White Lady of the Farthest North," the old wizard said as a single snowflake landed on his cheek.

"What…just happened?" Fili asked, not quite comprehending what he'd seen.

"A tormented soul is finally free. She will never darken your eyes again. And now…I suppose it's time for me to be going, as well."

"Wait!" Fili called out to him as the wizard moved away. "You said…I could still save him…but I don't know how. He won't wake. How can I bring him back?"

For a moment, Gandalf just smiled at the blond dwarf. "How do you think? What other way would you hearken your love to your touch?" he said before he, too, disappeared.

Unable to protest, Fili looked to his little brother once more…still and cold as death.

"Kili…" he started hesitantly, "I think I know what he means…but I can't help but remember what happened the last time I allowed myself to kiss you. We were happy for a moment…and then there was only pain. What would I wake you up to? A world of hatred and pain? After all, they…they will never accept us."

It was the easy thing to do…to end their suffering now…only he found he could not live without his brother, and lying down here with him to die would be a poor way to repay Kili's devotion, courage, and sacrifice. So Fili leaned down and pressed his lips to Kili's…a kiss of life to counteract the Snow Queen's kiss of death.

Almost immediately, Fili felt Kili's skin begin to warm, and as he watched, the color returned to his face. The younger dwarf drew in a sharp breath as his eyes fluttered open. For a single harrowing moment, they shone black, but then they shifted back to their warm chocolate brown color. Breathing in and out several times, Kili smiled up at him, reaching up to touch his face.

"Fili?" he whispered, as if he couldn't quite believe it.

"It's me, my love. You saved me. We're both alive."

"What…what about _her?_ " Kili asked, trying to look around. Fili calmed him with a kiss to his brow.

"She's gone. I don't know where, but she's gone. We're free of her."

"Can…can we leave, then? I want to go where it's warm again," Kili said. The request was simple, but at once so very powerful.

Helping each other to walk, the two brothers left the Farthest North behind. The trek across the ice fields wasn't nearly as harrowing the second time around. Later on that night, they lay together in Gandalf's abandoned hovel, tangled up in each other and rediscovering heat and life that had long been dormant. Afterward, Kili lay on top of Fili while the elder held him tightly in his arms, savoring the feel of his warm skin beneath his hands.

"We can never go home again…can we," Fili said, a disquiet look coming onto his face as he looked at his brother. Kili shook his head.

"No. It would disgrace Mother and Uncle. But we still have each other. No one else has to know we were born as brothers. We can be together."

"I'd like that," Fili said, well aware his eyes were glistening as he gazed up at Kili. Kili offered him a tired smile before lowering his head to kiss him.

"You know…for the longest time…I thought _I_ was the cause of the change in you. At first, I thought there might be something else, but…every new day, I became more and more certain it was _my_ selfish desire that had caused your heart to go cold. I thought I-"

"It wasn't your fault," Fili quickly interrupted when he saw his brother near to breaking down. Gently, he drew his head down to rest against his chest. "What did we do? What…but love each other? _That_ was the reason she chose us, not…what we are. We were punished for being true to each other. Let…let us not punish ourselves further. Let's just…be happy."

Kili smiled up at him as tears streamed down his face. "Yes. Yes, Fili. That's all I want."

Laughing and crying all at once, the two embraced tenderly, deliriously happy with the knowledge that this time…this time things might just work out.

XxX

It was many years after the two brothers had vanished into the night that Prince Bilbo and his entourage arrived in the village of Erebor. The prince seemed quite pleased when Thorin greeted him.

"You are, in fact, the same Thorin Oakenshield who once had two nephews?"

Thorin's expression went solemn at this. "Perhaps we had better speak in private."

The village leader led the prince and his four companions to the home he shared with his sister, and after a meal had been served, Bilbo got right down to it.

"It's been quite a few years since Bofur brought you word that your nephew, Kili, still lived."

"Have you seen either of them? Are they all right?" Dis pressed anxiously.

"I haven't seen them, no…but my new scribe has," the prince said, nodding toward the youngest member of his group.

"Ori, Sir," the young dwarf introduced himself as he pulled a leather case from his cloak.

"You've seen my nephews?"

"Yes, Sir. Actually, I was the one who drew this," he said as he drew a single sheet of paper from the case and set it on the table before the two siblings. It was a simple drawing of Fili and Kili, hands clasped together and smiling adoringly at each other, clearly having just kissed.

"And…this is…?" Thorin started to ask, though he had a feeling he knew already.

"The day they were wed," Ori said, smiling. "They wanted you to know they are alive and happy…and in case that wasn't enough proof for you, they also wanted you to have this," he continued as he pulled something more from his case and passed it to Dis.

It was a small section of a marriage braid. On the day they were wed, Fili and Kili would have taken several strands of their own hair and braided them together: a symbol of their union. The rest of the braid would be kept safe with them, but they had clearly seen fit to pass along this small token to their family, as proof of their life and their joy: brown and blond, twined together forever.

"They're together," Dis whispered, tears springing to her eyes as she ran her fingers over the small section of braid.

"Are they safe?" Thorin pressed.

"Very safe. If anyone should ever learn of their identities, it will not be through me or mine."

"Can…can we write to them?" Dis asked.

"Certainly. I should be happy to play courier to this grand little secret. They will be safe so long as they are under my protection. And of course, because you are wondering…it is my opinion these two will indeed live happily ever after."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, as always, I hope you all enjoyed my little bedtime story. I've sort of got story ideas for Sleeping Beauty and East of the Sun, West of the Moon. Any other fairy tales my lovely readers would like to hear?


End file.
